


More Than Itself

by SkyFireForever



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Merlin (Merlin), Divorce, Gay Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Kid Mordred (Merlin), M/M, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFireForever/pseuds/SkyFireForever
Summary: Arthur Pendragon was in the midst of a divorce, struggling to manage his own business, and parenting an eight year old son. It felt like the weight of the world was upon his shoulders and everything might come toppling down at any moment.Enter Merlin Emrys, a first-time nanny who seems to be exactly what Arthur needs.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	1. In Need

Arthur needed a nanny. Not for himself, obviously. He was a grown man. But for his son, the eight year old Mordred. It wasn’t that Arthur didn’t want to parent his son himself. It wasn’t that at all. Arthur absolutely adored Mordred. It was just that he was so busy with work that he could hardly be there for Mordred when he needed to be and he wanted Mordred to get the care and attention that he deserved. 

Arthur sat at his desk at work, staring at a picture of his happy family. Himself, his son, and his wife, Guinevere. They were the picturesque, happy family. But of course, not everything could be as perfect as it appeared. 

Arthur realized about a year ago that he didn’t love his wife, that he never had, at least not romantically. Because, well, because he was gay. There it was. Arthur Pendragon was a homosexual. It still made him cringe to think about. He’d only really accepted it a few months ago, which was a month after he’d drunkenly come out to Gwen and she had suggested a divorce. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy with Gwen. He was! He loved her as a very dear friend. It just didn’t go beyond that. He had lied to himself about his feelings for his wife for ten years. He’d avoided sex with her for so long that Gwen had suggested adoption, which was how Mordred came into their lives. 

And he was so glad that they’d made the decision to adopt Mordred. Arthur felt like he’d become a better person because of his son and he loved him more than the very world itself. He’d do anything for him. 

But he hadn’t been a good example. He’d lied and kept his true self hidden. He’d claimed to be straight because that was what he thought he needed to be. It was what his father needed him to be. 

He still hadn’t come out to his father, hadn’t been brave enough to. He didn’t know how the man would react. It was impossible to tell with someone like Uther Pendragon, though he made his stance on homosexuality very clear. He’d even gone so far as to kick Morgana out of the house when she was seventeen when she came out as a lesbian and Morgana had been his favorite child. Arthur would never admit it, but his father still terrified him. 

The point remained that Arthur was in need of a nanny for his son. He needed someone who would love and cherish Mordred as Arthur himself did. Someone who could be there for his son when he could not. Mordred deserved to always have someone there for him, especially during such a difficult time as his parents’ divorce. 

Arthur sighed and shook his head, unable to focus on his work. He needed to get back home, back to his son. He couldn’t stand being trapped in his office, not being there for him. He stood up and left his office, already putting an ad online for a nanny wanted. He would find a nanny suitable for his son, no matter the cost. 


	2. The Perfect Hire

By the time Arthur arrived at his house, he’d received six applicants for the position of nanny, none of which seemed very appealing to him. He ignored them for the time being, just wanting to see his family. He exited his car and walked up to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside. 

“I’m home!” He called into the house, receiving no response. He frowned and made his way through the entrance and down the hall to the living room. He found Gwen fast asleep on the couch, laying with her head thrown back against the cushions. He smiled fondly at her, moving her to a more comfortable sleeping position. The last thing he wanted was for her to awake with a crick in her neck. 

He made his way upstairs and towards Mordred’s bedroom. He knocked a few times on the door before opening it. “Mordred?” He asked gently. “You in here?” 

Mordred was sitting on the floor, playing with his toys, when he heard his father enter. He looked up at him, setting his toys down and pausing in his play. “Hi, Dad.” He said quietly, smiling up at him. 

“Hey, kiddo.” Arthur smiled and sat beside his son. “What are you playing?” Mordred just shrugged, not knowing how to explain his game to his father. He rarely did. Arthur went along with it, not minding that his son was naturally the pretty quiet type. “Well, might I play with you?”

Mordred lit up and nodded quickly. “You can be the prince.” He handed him one of his toys. 

“Alright.” Arthur agreed. “And who are you gonna be? A knight?” 

“Yeah! I’m a knight and a sorcerer.” Mordred said. “But I have to keep my magic a secret because the king doesn’t like magic.” He explained. 

“Why not?” 

“Because his wife died because of magic.” Mordred went on. “She couldn’t have babies, but a witch helped her have a baby, but she had to die in order for it to work.” 

Arthur raised an eyebrow, honestly a little disturbed by the imagination of a child. Mordred had always been rather creative, coming up with sprawling worlds and deep lore whenever he played. All of his games had complex rules that must be acknowledged before one could play them. Arthur supposed that it was just part of being a child. 

The two of them played with Mordred’s toys for a short while until Arthur heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He looked up in time to see Gwen standing in the doorway. 

“You’re home early.” She noted with a sleepy smile. 

Arthur shrugged. “I was worried about my boy.” He ruffled Mordred’s hair, causing the boy to laugh. 

“Well, you know you can’t leave work early too much.” She advised. “Your business may be a success so far, but that could all change at any time.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Jeez, thanks, Guinevere.” He said sarcastically. 

Gwen crossed her arms. “I’m serious, Arthur.” She told him. “You won’t be able to run a business if you don’t take it seriously.” She warned. 

“I do take it seriously!” Arthur insisted. “I just needed a break to see my son. Is that such a crime?”

Gwen sighed and shook her head. “I’m just giving you some advice, Arthur. You might do well to take it.” 

He sighed and nodded. “I know, I know. You’re right.” He muttered. She usually was. “I won’t leave work early anymore. I just wanted to see Mordred.” 

“I understand.” 

“I put out an add for a nanny.” He informed her. “Someone to keep Mordred company when I’m at work and after you move out.” The thought of Gwen moving out was a painful one. He’d been married to her for ten years and had been romantically involved with her for two years before that. He hadn’t lived his adult life without her. Sure, he realized now that the feelings he had for her were purely platonic, but he still loved her a great deal. He didn’t know if he wanted a life without her in it. She was still the mother of his son, after all.

“Oh, I think that’s a great idea.” Gwen smiled. “It’d have to be someone who really gets along with Mordred, though.” 

“I know. I wouldn’t hire just anybody.” Arthur assured her. “There will be an interview process.” 

“Good.” She smiled. “Then I say go for it.” 

“I will. I’ll start taking interviews tomorrow. I will stop at nothing until I find the perfect nanny.” 


End file.
